How shallow am I?

Birthday Card from Beyond the Grave

Unbeknownst to me, my girlfriend, who died after surgery in October, had arranged to send me an email birthday card sometime before her death. I received it on December 29. I don't know yet what my reaction is. I am sad & glad. She reiterated her love for me and indicated her optimism for the future.

Grief

Someone I loved died in October. I am still coming to terms with this unexpected event. I had not actually realized how important the love of someone that I loved in return was important for my mental stability. I do not believe that I will ever be back to normal in the sense of returning to the person I was before she died. At best, I will be a better person but the pain will never vanish entirely.

Another Christmas under the belt. Christmas presents still unopened because they look nice under the tree. The ornaments are all hand-crafted and it makes me feel good simply to look at the presentation.

Saw the movie, "The Savages" with Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman last night. (I attend films rarely.) It is both not as bad and not as good as I had feared/hoped. The overall film is not as depressing as I thought that it would be & the situation depicted doesn't ring true in my own experience. The fact that it didn't cut as deeply as I feared is the reason that I think it isn't as good as it could be.

Laura Linney is superb, a sure Oscar nominee. It was a pleasure watching her "work" on those rare occasions when I remembered that I was watching a movie and not real life. Philip Seymour Hoffman was extremely low-key, almost frozen emotionally. The director must have required him to be so. He was still totally believable, (even if I think that the verisimilitude of his character's reactions was dubious).

Well worth seeing. Laura Linney's movie without a doubt. Superb acting throughout.

Initiation

Testing